As we move into a new way of being, healing the mother wound will be mandatory. To love open heartedly and from the Divine Feminine, our hearts must be whole. A balance of masculine and feminine energy is needed to live authentically, and if we are coming from a wounded heart, we cannot feel into decisions or relationships. Our thoughts overpower our feelings therefore half of our truth is buried.
What is the mother wound? Well, there is a basic need for all humans to feel loved. To feel loved we must allow ourselves to feel the love through our open hearts. For our heart to stay open we must feel safe, so we must process why our hearts are closed and why we don’t feel safe. We all crave unconditional love and yet we learn to self-love by how we were mothered. That mothering comes from the humanness of our own mothers. If we did not receive unconditional love or we were mothered through an injured heart, we learn how to love ourselves in that way. The pain of not receiving what we truly needed as a child makes it hurtful to self-give, so we learn how to love ourselves in a way that in the moment is less painful but ultimately cannot being sustained without causing some damage.
How do we notice that our hearts are wounded or closed? We may get angry at ourselves or others when we/they do not give us what we feel we need. That hurt Little Girl may think she knows what she wants but is really just masking a deeper need with one “she” has learned to give herself. For instance, if our Little Girl craves sweets, she may really be looking for nurturing. However, when we did not receive the nurturing from our mom that we needed and she gave us a treat instead, our default then is to reach for a treat when really we want some self-care. And if we got no reaction at all from our mom, we might have given ourselves the treat once we were old enough and that became our pattern. Also, we may not trust fully, either ourselves or others. We may allow ourselves to be in relationships, wanting to be treated in a way that is not truly loving but is how we learned to perceive love.
Unfortunately, if we are using a partner to unconsciously fill that void, when one begins to self-mother and not take care of the other in the way they used to, a pulling away from the “mothering” partner creates an adolescent reaction. That rebellion could be a sign that we may need to reevaluate the relationship, and both partners might need some guidance on how to do it differently. Both men and women must learn how to self-mother and not look to others for care. Finding our own voice, the voice of our Authentic Self, and learning to communicate our needs helps us navigate this mother wound healing and reset the default. This may facilitate a deeper healing, opening our heart to feel the pain of what we didn’t receive as a child. We become aware that what we once accepted as love is no longer working in our lives. We can then move forward, first loving ourselves unconditionally and then sharing that love with others.
To be living our life though our hearts, the Divine Feminine Energy, we must give ourselves what our Authentic Self needs. To be fully aligned with our true north we must feel into decisions, and yes, that means using the heart. If the heart is not healed we are thrown off center. Allowing ourselves to examine and feel the pain of what we didn’t receive as a child and ultimately learning how to mother ourselves is the way towards living a heart-based life.